wimpy strugglings

I try to be really good and "handle" the life I have. There are unfortunately times where too many curves get thrown my way, and I panic. The anxiety in my chest gets large and heavy. I find my self thinking about running away. But where do you go? On a Monday? If it were any other day and my man had been home I so would have bailed to the temple. But it was monday. The man raked leaves and cleaned up the yard, and then he watched a marathon of Star Wars movies. This would have been fine but the sound was rattling the floor and coming through the vent by my sewing machine. Meanwhile it was an early out day at school for teacher development. Which means that the kids showed up randomly starting at 11 am. I know I should be better about this but giving my time and attention to each child is challenging. It is emotionally draining. I do the best that I think I can. Add the noise rattling the floor, and two children playing piano and organ at the same time, and throw in an 8 year old asking me to explain her book on rocks and minerals , while my embroidery machine is running, and I was not coping well. The anxiety has been really high the past weekend. I don't know if it is just because things were different than "normal" schedule or not - I know I am going all rainman. I was stressing my little Sunday school calling at church and realized I had best do a good job, because I so do not wish to be a President of any auxiliaries at church. I have a plan for the man's work gifts but It is very time intensive. So I am striving to get it done in between all the rest of my life. It makes me so appreciative of my awesome older sisters who balance their lives so much better than I could even dream of right now.. I am striving to be grateful for the blessings in my life - dishwasher, washing machine, cars, electricity, a home, and a beautiful family, a sweet husband, and health, and chiropractors, and an income...